General Happiness - 136

Back Marketing Dictionary Advanced Design: The advertising agency doesn't understand it. All New: Parts not interchangable with previous design. Break-Through: We finally figured out a way to sell it. Broadcast Quality: Gives a picture and produces noise. Built to Precision Tolerances: We finally got it to fit together. Customer Service Across the Country: You can return it from most airports. Designed Simplicity: Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone. Distinctive: A different shape and color than the others. Direct Sales Only: Factory had big argument with distributor. Field-Tested: Manufacturer lacks test equipment. Foolproof Operation: No provision for adjustments. Futuristic: No other reason why it looks the way it does. Hand-Crafted: Assembly machines operated without gloves on. High Accuracy: Unit on which all parts fit. High Reliability: We made it work long enough to ship it. Years of Development: We finally got one that works. Improved: Didn't work the first time. Latest Aerospace Technology: One of our techs was laid off by Boeing. Meets All Standards: Ours, not yours. Micro-Processor Controlled: Does things we can't explain. MIL-SPEC Components: We got a good deal at a government auction. New: Different color from previous design. New Generation: Old design failed, maybe this one will work. Performance Proven: Will operate through the warranty period. Re-Designed: Previous faults corrected, we hope. Revolutionary: It's different from our competitors. SMPTE Bus Compatible: When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound. Unmatched: Almost as good as the competition. Unprecedented Performance: Nothing we ever had before worked this way. Next